i’m ugly but i want a hot boyfriend do you see my problem
cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas
me: you said i got one phone call
You are not a burden.
You are not a bother.
You enhance the lives of others.
People smile, not groan, when you text them.
One day last semester I was on the bus heading to class and I was like ‘fuck class started ten minutes ago I’m going to be late again.’
And then I looked down and realized that my professor was in the seat in front of me editing his powerpoints for the class that we were both supposed to be in.